wandering thoughts

Has it been that long since we last talked? I can't believe I didn't recognize your voice.

You were probably thinking that if it was your name I saw, I wouldn't answer the call. Hmm. Well, yes, I'd like to think of it that way. I'd like to think that I'd to it that way, too, but you got some strategy going on there and you caught me at a disadvantage - groggy and half awake. But I'm not that mean and it was too late before I've gotten to put some thought into it. All the while I thought it was someone else, and then later in the conversation, you realized the same that you had to introduce yourself. Ha! That's screaming 'good' for me. I can't believe I didn't recognize you, for once. And I'm happy about that, even if you woke me up at eight o'clock when I planned on snoozing some more.

And then it got me thinking... Are we friends again because of this? I despise you (a little, maybe, cause I'm mature now ha ha) and I am even avoiding you, which before I couldn't afford to do. I've been doing a few favors for you lately, and as much as it makes me think that you only think of me when you need something from me, I don't want to. I am hoping that we can still get things fixed between us. And maybe with these little favors, you get to realize my worth as well.

This is bad. But I shouldn't think of it that way. Cause this isn't about revenge or getting even. It's about giving ourselves time and space to heal and get back on our own feet, the way we were even before we met... Like starting over and being friends again. It's about being mature with handling the situation. We know for ourselves what happened and what is still wrong between the both of us, and only us. Because the people around us, they just see and judge, but they don't really understand. They will never ever understand.

I hope that that call was a wake up call. Literally and figuratively. I didn't expect it, but it was probably just what we both needed. So, thank you.