wandering thoughts

Well that was one eventful and bittersweet weekend. The attempted robbery, the race... everything happened so fast.

Something so deliberately planned didn't go well, and boy, we couldn't be any more thankful. We had a commotion at our house at around 3:30AM... a trespasser who attempted to rob our house and defended himself by saying that he was just around the house cause he needed nails cause there were people hunting him down. Hmm? It was so very well planned cause he knows what time my dad and sister leaves for work, and that my guy cousins are out for the night. We live in a compound so if you know how one looks, then you might just picture how it went. To cut the long story short, he was seen by my cousin who went home in the wee hours and caught him in action, just about to start his modus. The next thing I knew, I'm up at 3:30AM, stopping my cousin from prolonging the brawl. All of our neighbors were there and just watching the show. We have been having robberies around our neighborhood for the the past couple of months and this is what we've all been waiting for... a burglar to get caught. He was placed in custody, but our case being a weak one, I believe he was released today. Sad. We'd love to have him in prison for a couple of months but we didn't get to submit our plea. Just praying now that he learns his lesson and hoping that it doesn't happen again.

Sigh. Yes, at times like these, I wish I had pursued Law instead of Marketing... NAH.

So anyway, yesterday was the 3rd Leg of the Cobra Dragon Boat Regatta. Participating wasn't an issue until after a week before the race, but good thing I talked my parents into it and I was allowed, so hurrah! The only sad thing about it was that for the first time in three years... I was put in reserve. :( Yes, it literally broke my heart when I knew I wasn't racing for all of the categories I knew I should have been part of. Maybe because I backed out a week before then confirmed 3 days later, and missed two training days cause of work. I JUST MISSED TWO TRAINING DAYS. I have been training for weeks and weeks and weeks and it boiled down to that. I'm sorry if I'm taking this so seriously, but yes, it does matter. As a matter of fact, it matters to me a lot. I'm not holding any grudges but it's just that maybe, they don't fucking realize what I had to go through to get in the line up. Right, they don't. Fuck. I am so disappointed but I don't want this to be an issue so I refuse to talk to anyone about it. Heck, I don't plan to tell anyone about anything anymore, cause the last time I did it, people fucked me over and completely ruined my trust. Sigh. Enough of the hate. Anyway, we won bronze for the mixed category. And we plan to dominate in the fourth leg so fuck everything, I'm gonna end my last year, and maybe my last race ever in my dragon boat life, in high notes!

I also have been having a lot of disappointments, but you know... People change. And it's a fact I have to tattoo on my brain. I know why they act as such, so yes, I know them, but I don't judge them. I just hope they realize that and stop hurting me. Cause I'm sick and tired of being hurt. I'm sick and tired of always being the one who understands, the one who always gives way, the one who always sacrifices happiness for others. Getting it indirectly from one person is torture already. Please, I don't want any of it anymore. :( I just pray that I won't grow indifferent soon... Cause the line 'I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all' doesn't apply all the time. :(

And something happened earlier today. It made me smile a bit, cause I realized that even after everything... We're all good. I know we are, we just refuse to say it. I know it will not go back to the way it was, but at least now I am partly relieved cause I know it's just a matter of time that this will be fixed, cause we can and we will. Soon. All good, all good. :)